Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Political Science for Dummies.

Some economic humor in these trying times:

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' s private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

I got this from an MSN Group I am in and here is the original link. I really like this one.
http://www.ramblestrip.com/blog/2006/01/political-science-for-dummies-this.html

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Recession? What Recession?

I went to check out a new Safeway store in the Pearl District. The Pearl is home to $350,000+ high rise condos, and the Baby boomer "yuppies", and their "yuppie puppies".

http://www.explorethepearl.com/

Everything about it is new, upscale, and well, chic. My observation is that none of these folks think they're in an Recession or soon, a coming Depression. One couple, twenty something, was buying six-packs of wine (not Ripple), and had a $30+ floral centerpiece. Remember all those news stories about declining retail sales, and folks barely able to buy food for their baby....well if your buying $30 flowers, your off in a different world.

I live about 15 blocks south of there, and looking out my window, the average car is a BMW or Mercedes. The West Hills, about 4 blocks west, is covered with $Million homes. These folks, lord knows where they work and can afford such digs, have no conception of recession. Their world is peachy keen, bright, and kinda Rosy through those pink glasses. I have heard them talking, while on the Streetcar, and avoiding the "R" word, thinking if they ignore it , they won't be effected. Uh huh.

Then take a further extreme. Folks in the "Home" I live in get/subscribe to lots of upscale magazines like GQ, Details, Architectural Digest, Vogue, etc. Pick one up some time...filled with dozens of ads for $50,000 watches (How many do you need? I'll bet a $30 Timex is as accurate by 5%), diamond jewelry, Aston Martins, BMW, Lexus, Jaguars, private Jets, Mega Yachts etc. Things to entice the masses, while ignoring the fact that most who have such things, got their money the old fashioned way...inheritance!

Which brings me to the crux of the whole matter. Our economy is entirely based on consumerism....buying crap we want, but don't need. Buying on credit for instant gratification. How many shoe stores in a mall do we really need? Many sell the same brands and/or are owned by the same company. Automobiles...do we really need hundreds of various models at various prices that all have four wheels, and go from point "A" to point "B"on the same road?

The Pacific NW prides itself, (a legend in their own minds) on "Sustainability" and "Green" environmental and economic policies, which in reality are a marketing gimmick to sell things and continue growth.

True "Sustainability" maintains a constant level of economy and does not need to grow. It is self sustaining, environmentally friendly by nature, does not require addition limited resources, imported cheap labor, outsourcing, etc. It is a class leveling economy...a truer "Middle Class". Unfortunately, it is also much an illusion.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Last Election of 2008

Election Day is finally here, thank God. Two years of hell, hours of negative commercials, and rants from folks like Rush Limbaugh. Tonight, the victor will take the spoils of all this home and put it on a shelf!

2008 is the first time I have voted since the fiasco of 2000, and it will also probably be my last vote, for many reasons. One being, who really knows what happens to that ballot once it leaves your hands? Can you say "Hanging Chads"?

I fail to appreciate "Representative Government".....that's not democracy, that's a Republic...like ancient Rome. I would be content on removing all "Professional Politicians" and vote via the Internet, on all major policies. (Yes the Internet is safe for voting. You do your taxes, banking, and pay bills on it don't you?)

From my viewpoint, of the poor and working poor, the future of the USA seems lost in a fog of hopelessness and greed. 2012 approaches and many feel the End is near, in many ways. War, famine, overpopulation, depression, pandemic disease, etc. are just some of the many, and perhaps simultaneous crisis to End our world as we know it.

How does this affect our jobs, lifestyle, retirement, families and businesses?

Well, for one thing, strategic planning for worse case scenarios, can't hurt. Not planning and going ahead with wide eyed optimism may be fatal...to the country, to the world, to your family, and yourself.

More in future posts.